My "Loving-Kindness" Exercise Experience

Hi everyone

           This week I want to tell you about my experience with the “Loving-Kindness” Exercise. The one thing that we have to remember is that as Dacher (2006) says in his book “Integral Health” that “the most meaningful aim of contemplative practice is not rest and relaxation but rather the progressive development of an expanded consciousness and its healing capacities.” While I was resting as the narrator had said, I thought about my wife, Sheryl, with unlimited love and sensitivity. As I continued to think about her with this “intention” I felt as if my heart opened up in a big way with loving-kindness towards her because my heart was being packed with these feelings.

           After I completely came into contact with these feelings for a few minutes, I turned them inward towards myself as was suggested.  It really did take some effort to do this because I had so much negative interference to get through. But I did intently concentrate on my body and its sensations. I had tried to give each of them my love, kindness, and a sense of ease, spaciousness, and care as the narrator had said but my mind wandered.  I was able to bring back my focus to where it belonged. After that I took some time to be at harmony with my body and its impressions and was then able to complete that part of the exercise.

           When I tried to change to the contemplations, outlooks, and images that traveled in and out of my consciousness, I was going through some issues. I guess I got too relaxed and was fighting sleep although that was not what this exercise was about. So after bringing my focus back I was able to give all of these feelings equal care, love, and kindness as was suggested.

           Then I turned to my internal awareness, precisely to the quietness, harmony, and kindness that are my natural home. At that point I presented this deeper side of my mind (my soul and spirit) with all the loving-kindness that was in my heart and received it into my life. As the narrator had suggested, I completely embraced myself for the exceptional and valuable manifestation of life that I am supposed to be. The narrator had said that “loving ourselves is a preamble to spreading this love out to others.” I took a little extra time to do this part of the exercise.

           The next thing we had to do was to envision a loved one who was now in distress. The loved one I was using was my youngest daughter. I let my daughter’s distress come into my body with an “in-breath” and then I let it totally dissolve in my heart. Then, when I took an “out-breath” I sent out to her health, happiness, and wholeness. I did this for a little while, continuing to take in my daughter’s distress with the in-breath, and sending health and joy out to her with the out-breath. I contemplated how I could be of particular help to her. I knew I could suggest a long term strategy that will help her with pinpointing and eradicating the causes of her distress. So with another out-breath I presented what I knew would be the most helpful.

           The narrator suggested that we increase our emphasis to include a circle of strangers beyond our immediate loved ones. As before I took in their distress with my in-breath and let it dissolve in my heart. When I took my out-breath, I sent out the harmony and wellness that has been developing within me. I also took some extra time to do this part of the exercise.  Then I included all living beings, as well as those whom I think of as adversaries. I envisioned this whole field of folks in front of me as I sustained this exercise of taking and being generous. I kept this up in this way for the rest of my practice session. I certainly experienced the changes that had taken place in my mind and heart. This has been an internal exercise whose principal goal has been to produce profound loving-kindness that reduces my self-centeredness and stills my mind. After I was done I stayed for a moment in the harmony and easiness of my mind and body, and reflected on the exercise. After that, I gradually and calmly resumed my regular routine.

           Now, I have to tell you that this experience was definitely beneficial for me in that it helped me to reach deeper into my awareness to find things out about my life I didn’t even know existed. As I continue to go through these contemplative practices, I should be able to train my mind, practice the subtle stages of psychospiritual growth, and gain entrance to these properties and abilities. By being present to my inner capability, there can be a transformation from what is now ordinary health into integral health.  It was difficult at first for me to get through all the steps because of all the mental and physical issues I have been dealing with. But because I would not stop trying I was able to successfully complete each part of the exercise.

            I would surely recommend this exercise to other folks because if they can successfully get through this exercise they will find out things about their inner selves that they didn’t know existed as in Loving-Kindness where they can take in other folk’s distress and let it dissolve in their hearts and send them out health, happiness, and wholeness.

           The concept of a “Mental Workout” consists of a daily commitment to practice the mental exercises on a daily basis. This way we can progress in our psychospiritual life and access its capabilities and assets. Even though it may involve a great concentration of work and preparation to get to the peak of human flourishing, we can still be on the road to health, happiness, and wholeness when we work with a more sensible and sustained effort. If we practice the mental exercises for one hour every day that will add up and it won’t take long for us to see some results.

          

           The research we see that indicates there are proven benefits of a “Mental Workout” are like this: Let’s say we are talking about physical training, it doesn’t matter if we are an expert or a beginner, if we don’t consistently keep up our practicing, we will see our conditioning go down. This is the case whether we are talking about physical or mental workouts, so the research is showing that persistence is essential. For us to gain the full benefit from contemplative practice, it is important to plainly understand the practices and approaches that we will be using.                        

Another thing for us to think about is that the most important intention of contemplative practice is not rest and relaxation but instead it is the advanced growth of an extended awareness and its healing capabilities.

          Now, when we think about how we can implement mental workouts to foster our psychological health, according to Dacher (2006) there is an all-encompassing record of thousands of tested methods for this. They are available from the East where much of this work was initiated. So there is a track record in place that we can rely on. According to Dacher (2006) there are two types of contemplative practices we can implement. The first one is loving-kindness. This reveals our heart to others and steadily reduces self-centeredness, preparing our mind for further development. The second one is about the three levels of the subtle mind: witnessing, calm-abiding, and unity consciousness. This unlocks our minds and reveals a powerful understanding that knows the truth of our life and of existence. Loving-kindness and wisdom are the crucial elements that heal at the source and drive human flourishing.

Craig S Aronoff